Glass Box Habits
Techniques for Neurodivergent People to Access Habits Like a Neurotypical
At one point about a year ago, James Clear's Atomic Habits was the best-selling book on Amazon. As in, #1, no other titles were outselling Atomic Habits. My best guess is he was pulling down $1,000,000 a month at that time. It doesn't really matter. The point is, the book was popular, and I'm sure most of the folks who bought it read it. But that raises the question: How many people who read it actually benefitted from it? And more importantly, for the sake of this conversation, how many neurodivergent people--let's just narrow that down to ADHDers--succeeded in putting his suggestions to use? I'm guessing--and this is only a guess, but an informed one--not many.
As someone with ADHD and bipolar disorder, I know the problems we face with using habit advice. It really boils down to one controlling concept. Habits require consistency, and for many people with ADHD (and other neurodivergences), inconsistency is the disease. What that means in practical terms is that showing up for ourselves, consistently over long periods, without relying on dopamine, is a joke. There are memes, t-shirts, and even entire books of stories of ADHDers who pick up a hobby with all the enthusiasm and good intentions in the world and, 10 days or 2 weeks later, have put their new hobby in the closet with the detritus of their other attempts, never to be touched again. I have done that so many times that when I tell my wife I'm going to do something new, she nods and smiles and tries not to be disappointed when I drop it quickly and permanently. What's even more devastating is my disappointment in letting myself down again. There have been times I've given up on myself as a lost cause. The good news is, I didn't give up on myself, and after decades of looking, I've discovered a method for introducing consistency into the life of ADHDers (and other neurodivergents) that can be counted upon.
I was thinking about being coy and keeping the secret to myself until a later post, but I have no investment in yanking your chain. So here's the secret: journaling.
I just lost a bunch of you, didn't I?
Nevertheless, I'm serious. I'm not talking about writing in your diary or writing gratitude lists or poems or whatever the hell it is that people write in their journals. Nope. I'm asking for the minimum amount of effort imaginable. Take a burnt matchstick and make a single tally mark on the back of a used napkin. That's your journal. That's your evidence.
Evidence of what? That you showed up for yourself. It's something you can do every day, every morning for the rest of your life. That's the key. That little crumbly scratch made of charcoal is evidence you showed up for yourself today. Can you do that? Let me let you in on the other secret. Yes, you can.
As you can well imagine, there's more to it than that. I've developed an entire ecosystem of techniques that will transform your life. But this little messy scratch mark is the beginning. A journey of a thousand miles begins beneath your feet. This is where you stand. Will you show up for yourself?
At the top of this post, I put my t-shirt idea. "I show up for myself" and "the journey continues tomorrow" encapsulate the essence of the process. Show up, do it again tomorrow. That's it. That's where you start.
In the coming days, I will be going into more details. In the meantime, if you want to put this into practice (and you don't have any matches or napkins), get a notepad, spiral notebook, journal app, anything, and today, now, write the date and the words "I was here." Then do it again tomorrow. Forever. I'll be showing you why this is important to you and your future self in later posts. If all you can do is scratching a mark in the paper with your thumbnail, that counts too. Anything. Do it now. Then do it again.
The journey continues tomorrow.